Obedience

When I was reading Matthew chapter 3, the verse that spoke to me the most was v8 – “Produce fruit in keeping with repentance”. Living a life of repentance doesn’t just mean we have to keep saying ‘sorry’ to God, to our leaders, or even to the people around us. As a matter of fact, living a life of repentance simply means to live a life of obedience.

To be really honest, this week has been a very ‘shiong’ week for me. Just in this week alone, I have 1 assignment, 2 lab reports, 1 project demonstration, 1 term test, 1 project report, 1 project presentation, and a 2000-words essay due. This has by far been the most hectic and stressful week I’ve experienced in NUS.

Today was the day of my term test that was at 4pm. As logical people/students, you would definitely take whatever free time you have to revise. But as I was having my breakfast this morning, I really sensed the Holy Spirit prompting me to realign myself back to Him and not to rely on my own human strength. I was initially very reluctant to do that because the only thing that was on my mind was the upcoming test that was in a few hours time. But I decided to do so.

Back in my room, I spent time praying and worshipping God. And I worshiped God with the song, ‘Greater’. As I was singing the song, I was greatly reminded that we ought to put God as the centre of our lives. Not just in easy times but also in trying moments. Though I was secretly hoping that God would leak the answer sheet somehow (but it doesn’t work that way yea?), I knew that my act of obedience would be pleasing to Him; and that’s all that matters. I may not get superb or fantastic results, but what I got would be God’s favor. That’s more fulfilling than any other.

Bible says in Psalm 51:16 - “You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; You do not take pleasure in burnt offerings”. When people in the past sin against God, they have to offer sacrifices to atone for their sins. So what this verse means is: God would rather us to obey than to sin then repent. God’s heartbeat is for us to obey Him more than giving Him burnt offerings.

No turning back.

This week has definitely been by far the most stressful week in all my history of studying... But I've come to a point to make a stand to spend time with Jesus as promised by my previous blog post.

Interestingly, as I'm writing this blog post, the song that's playing on my iTunes is 'No Turning Back' by Chris Tomlin. The lyrics goes like: "...the cross before me, the world behind me, I will follow, I will follow... No turning back, no turning back..."

Suddenly feel this gush of emotions running through me as I hum the tune and lyrics of the song. With all my heart, I'm so thankful to Jesus for all He has done in my life. And as I focus on this surpassing joy of being able to know Jesus, the rest (everything else in life) fail in comparison. The immense joy and privilege to be able to know Jesus in this life far exceeds all other happiness or earthly desires and aspirations that I foolishly cling on to.

Was having a conversation with someone yesterday and we were talking about how God can still love us unconditionally despite our disgusting sinful nature... And His love isn't just words and unfounded, it was accompanied with action - the death of Jesus. What grace is this that we deserve to be redeemed? At what price did He pay to reconcile with us? Sometimes I wonder whether God was in His right mind when He made that decision to confine His omnipotence, His omniscience and His omnipresence into human form... Well, I guess true love makes us irrational?

Now then, how can I not dedicate my life unto Jesus? How can I neglect His love and tangible presence in my life? Putting this into perspective, I simply can't.

To not follow is folly...

So what is the best..?

This is the best...

Help me to treasure this relationship I have with You...

Have been doing much thinking today. One of the fears that has been gripping me is the fear of drifting away from Jesus. Recently I noticed I've been thinking less of Jesus in this season of my life. When I'm being flooded with tons of assignments, piles of work, and loads of books, my natural carnal tendency of neglecting Jesus kicks in.

And what really overwhelms me is the patience and the faithfulness of the Father. When situations around me get hectic and busy, I know I will forget and neglect God. But God doesn't do that to us (for me at least). And I'm so so thankful to You for that... Truly amazed and overwhelmed by how much You love us still (Even to the extent of confining Yourself to a mere mortal and dying for us...). How can an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent being confine Himself to a man? Just so amazed by You... Even if the seasons and weather change, You do not change. You remain the same; faithful and true to the end.

Saw a quote on Tumblr and was reading a book today and somehow it seemed like God was speaking directly to me thru these 2 channels.

"Watch your thoughts, for they become your words.
Watch your words, for they become your actions.
Watch your actions, for they become your habits.
Watch your habits, for they become your character.
Watch your character, for they become your destiny." - A random Tumblr post

"...in life, we gravitate toward the visible and the spectacular. We judge and pride ourselves upon our influence and accomplishments. Though gratifying, this outward superstructure is however not where our primary energies should be expended... It is in the substructure, the unseen foundation, that our true strength lies." - Mentoring Paradigms by Edmund Chan

Who we are, what we do when no one sees, form the substructure of our life. I want to strive to live a life of worship, to live before God in fear of Him, held together by humility and perseverance. Only then will my substructure and foundation be able to withstand immense stress and strain. The continued maintenance and growth of this substructure, firmly anchored in God through the practice of the spiritual disciplines, is the work of a lifetime. I want to live such a life before God.

Dear God, I want to strengthen my foundation in You. Let my private life be holy and pleasing to You. Help me to think more of You everyday, help me to anchor my thoughts around You. Help me to build my character through life's turmoil. I want to please You with my life; I don't want to disappoint You time and time again. Help me to treasure this relationship I have with You.

Thanks Dad,
Your beloved son. :')

You will remember

Just so thankful to God for everything...

For Your faithfulness, that You keep what You promised to mankind. Continue to remember those who are faithful to You, O Lord.

Nehemiah 13:31 - "...remember me with favor, my God."

Unconditional

Have been thinking about my life recently... Especially since school has just started, I'm beginning to wonder how my life will turn out in the next 3 years. Will I still be loving God with my all? Will I still be as child-like as before? Or will I just plunge into being indifferent towards God?

It's time to get things straight. I want to be equally; or even more child-like and faith-filled than before. If situations around me are my limiting factors, may God give me the strength to persevere in Him.

Sometimes I really wonder how can God love us so much? We are so sinful, but yet He still chose to love us unconditionally.

At the end of the day, I know that God is good, He is faithful and He remembers, and He will not forget me in His book. This is the love that will keep me walking...

It's been...

It's been 3 years. How time flies just like that. Everything still remains surreal and fake. Whenever I recall the incident, it feels like it was just like a dream, and I really hope I could just wake up from it. There are so many responsibilities that I have to shoulder from now on. There are times when I'm so afraid of the future. Don't know how I am going to face these challenges in life...

What makes me so sad is when daddy requested to talk to me today. And he told me he was sorry for all that has happened. Even as I'm starting school, he's sorry that he can't be there to help me. He's missed my graduation, and he's sorry for all that...

But I still know You are good.

I am not perfect. The more I look at myself in the mirror, I wonder how come God still love me so much. What am I, or rather, who am I that God should die for me? Feel so useless, unworthy and unclean before God.

But I know You will not forsake me.

Help me to become child-like again. Help me to stand up to challenges in life. Help me to become who You want me to be.

I can't live without You. I need You so much more God... Wonder how it would be like if You are not in my life...

Ultimately, it's for?

We must never lose track of our ultimate goal and vision. Why are we doing outreach and discipleship? Why are we cultivating strong communities and strong local leadership? And why are we going all out for ID2010 this year? Why are we doing all these?

Most of the times, we follow the goals and visions set by our shepherds, leaders, or even pastors. And to come to think of it, we just follow it blindly. And to tell you the truth, I'm a victim of this too.

But when I seriously got hold of my thoughts and started thinking, I realized that there is something that we must never lose sight of. And that's our ultimately aim, ultimately goal and the ultimate prize - The Great Commission.

Why are we doing lifegroups? Services? Events? Games? Outreach? Meetings?... It's for The Great Commission. And if our pastor is leading us to this ultimate goal, then I'm game for it! And I'll be the first to offer my allegiance to him. And if our DLs, SDLs, ULs, LGLs... is leading us to this ultimate goal, then I'll also be the first to follow him.

"follow me as I follow Christ..."

So what is your decision?