Always feeling a sense of guilt and remorse whenever I travel out of the country. While it has been 5 years since the accident, it has been way longer since the family has traveled together; and moving on with normal life seem so unrealistic and unthinkable. Although I know its reality and the natural circumstance that prohibits the simple wants and desires for this family, but yet, on the other hand, this sense of overwhelming guilt is quite unpalatable on moments like this.
Each time when you mention feeling trapped at home - that the house is simply a prison - I can't help but to have second thoughts of not going anywhere away from Singapore; just to make home a little less "trapped" for you.
But sometimes, its really hard for logic to prevail over emotions.
You mentioned of going to Penang, and I promise that once I've saved enough, I'll bring you and the family there. With the amount of time you have left on earth, I will be a good boy to make the remaining time the best days of your life.
Not sure if this is the most balanced way of viewing things, but God please teach me how to be a better son for my family... And soon, I know God will make something out of this, simply because I believe in a God who will make things beautiful in its time.
