Graduation

A swell of relief and gratefulness mixed with fatigue as I scrambled to check my results at 7.20am. I was thrilled to unveil the conclusion of my undergrad life while struggling to find the right words to aptly describe the thankfulness in my heart.

I was never stellar in academics, with a slew of average grades at most. I recall vivid images of primary and secondary school report cards being splotched with remarks highlighting the display of good character, but nothing much about my hardy attempt at good grades. I thought university would be the same.

Recounting all these gripped me with a sense of mawkish nostalgia, at how perfectly average I am. I had to rely heavily on friends, and whole lot more on God. Sketchy images of late night studying with utown/engin friends, tables strewn with books and papers, coupled with constant laments and errant exchanges with God - all of which underscoring the need for God and friends in my life.

Despite such valiant efforts in keeping to regimes, balancing ministry and school was tough. When the harsh reality of hard work in ministry and lofty intellectual ideals collide, what will we choose?

Trusting Him in spite of turning down internship offers and early job placements at DSO in exchange for more time in ministry; it was difficult, I abhorred the process. But it was the truest, most satisfying experience in my Christian upkeep. While many may see this as cavalier, I saw this as trusting Him.

Exams too was arduous. I recall exams at mpsh trailed with a long hallway, tiled floors, beige walls with squared windows, which allowed the soft glow of the sun to blend with the luminescence of fluorescent lights that buzzed overhead. The cold air-con air exacerbating exam chills, with stress pelting your heart with nervous jitters.

"You have 15 minutes left and no one is allowed to leave the exam hall..."

More often than not, I find myself transfixed at the exam clock, mostly from wide-eyed bewilderment in being unable to comprehend engin complexities. But fast forward time, I made it nonetheless, with a decent 2nd upper honours degree.

My final semester summed it up pretty well, with a healthy mix of exercising and eating well. The journey here had left a deep imprint of friends, memories and blessings, and that God had always been the ultimate orchestrator of it all.

God was a link to my past and, I know without any doubt, a bridge to my future. It was one of the only things in my world that I am sure of, and I'm adamant in not letting go of that completely.

Here's to all undergrad friends who are still undergoing the motion: I pray we go through it well and eventually teach a stoical acceptance of suffering and perhaps a sort of disdain towards academia; such ardor is integral to succeeding well. Too many build up their heads without minding their hearts. Don't just chase intellect, but pursue passion and a greater purpose in life and in what you aspire to do.

2 decades of education taught me much about myself, mostly about how He can use mediocre people like me. Wasn't outstanding to begin with, but with Him, we can shine. Jesus Christ taught me discipline in suffering, and hard work through perspective. Of the lot, He is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

I've graduated!

Reflection, Post Semester

The college stint took a toll on my family duties of late. But post semester has now paved way for more daily bus rides homebound.

Seeing daddy clasping his hands and holding a wistful smile, together with a slight tremulous voice in his replies to my errant exchanges every morning; it's nice. Either I saw this as naivete, or something as far more beautiful to me.

It just struck me that the time I spend at home is terribly disproportional to how much I treasure family.

This irks me, and is a reflection point.