Decided to resume my journaling afresh on a new birthday gift, because a new book demarcates a new chapter; and even possibly a new perspective, new paradigm, new phase, new spirit... Have been trudging on a season that's overdosed with heavy heart baggages, which costed me much of my time and energy as a result of being occupied in the process of making sense of what I was feeling. In so doing, the tenets of my paradigm and beliefs in certain things I held on to were shaken tremendously and abruptly. Coping with the mammoth emotional crunch took a large chunk of my emotional-heart capacity and I find myself unable to proceed with powerful, victorious christian life. I really wonder if anyone could identify?
What does it really mean when the psalmist attributes the turnabout of a 'heart failure' to God being "the strength of his heart and his portion forever"?
Whatever it is, I'm determined to walk through this with God. I want to be absolutely adamant in being steadfast, righteous and loving. Whatever deceits the devil clogs my heart with, I pray for a contrite heart in return. This is my new chapter.
